Not Even More Cowbell Can Cure This Disease

There is a disease in the Sorenson household. Actually, if I had to compare it to something I would say it is like a case of Herpes. You know, how there is no medication to cure it, and you never know when it might flare up again. Well, this morning it flared up.

Here is what went down. I was running late this morning for work. I didn’t have too much of a sense of urgency to get out there, since I did not have anything pressing to get done until the afternoon. When I did finally get all ready to go, I headed out to the garage, and hopped in my trusty 1996 Honda Accord. This is the car that I have owned for the past 7 years, and I have spent many an hour in it driving back and forth between work and home. It had been, and still is a very good little car for commuting. There is just one teensy weensy feature I wish it had.
It is a feature that our van has. It is one that the average person might not find to be that big of a deal. That is, until they drive a car without said feature, but don’t remember that the car they are driving doesn’t have it. And this is what brings me to what happened last night.

Lisa had to work, and we had been invited to our friends the Shannon’s house for a BBQ/Swim party. Since I can’t fit all three car seats into my car, Lisa took it to work, and I drove the van. Everything sounds hunky dory right? Uh, Wrong!

Now I love my wife. I could not ask for a better one, nor would I want to ask for a better one. She is the apple of my eye, and I will love her for eternity. With that being said, there is something that she does about every 3 months that wreaks havoc on me.

You see, the feature that I am talking about that my car is lacking is the one that automatically turns off your headlights after 15 seconds. I must admit, it is a great feature. Well, if you have a car that does it anyways. But like I already said, my car doesn’t have it. So, Lisa gets home from work, usually around 9:30, and pulls into the garage. She turns off the ignition. She closes the door of the car. And then heads into the house, closing the garage door behind her, and settles in for a night of relaxation with a wonderful and caring husband that has the house already cleaned up and kids off to bed. (OK, 4 out of 5 times the clean house and kids to bed are true. Not too shabby if I do say so myself.)

Then we have the next morning. I roll out of bed, take a shower, get dressed, and get my lunch ready. I go back into our bedroom, kiss Lisa goodbye, and head out to the garage. Before I get in my car I feed the dogs. I then hop in the car, put my key in the ignition……and nothing happens. It is at this exact moment when I find out that Lisa forgot to turn off my headlights, and my battery is so dead that even the automatic door locks don’t work.

If that wasn’t bad enough, I then have to back my car down the driveway in neutral. And since both of our vehicles are Honda’s, the batteries are on the same side. Of course that means I then have to back the van out, flip it to the other side of my car, and get the cables hooked up. I wait the 5 minutes it takes for my car to realize that its version of those shocking paddles they use in the ER are sending voltage their way before the engine springs to life in all its 4 banger glory. After putting the van back in the garage, I am finally ready to start the drive to work. Oh ya, and hope that the latest episode of draining the battery doesn’t kill it off.

So there you have it, my morning routine about every three months or so. If any of you out there in blog land have a cure for this debilitating disease, please pass it along. My cure is to buy a newer Accord with those fancy turning off headlights, but Lisa doesn’t seem too jazzed about my fix.