So yesterday I am sitting at my desk at work, thinking about how there is nothing going on, and I should just go home. And then my good friend (and co-worker) Sonja sends me yet another “get to know you” survey. Now normally I just send these types of emails straight to the trash can, but this time I decided to go ahead and fill it out. After all, several other people in my group had filled out the same survey and sent it to me. I felt I should be a team player and fill it out too. It goes without saying that my answers were a hit with my co-workers.
I was going to just leave it at that, but then I received a comment today on the last blog post I did…5 months ago. Yes, I have pretty much left this blog for dead, but the spammers who like my post on Alpha Bits cereal, and the few good blogging friends I have leave me comments from time to time asking why I haven’t posted in a long time. So Lisa, David, Kristen, random spammers who like my Alpha Bits post, and anyone else out there who check their computer every morning with the hope that El Donaldo has started posting again, this post is for you. I present to you the survey I did yesterday. Now I must warn you that some of these answers will make no sense to you, but that is OK. That just means you aren’t sitting around in a cubicle with nothing to do out on the Hanford site. Oh, and you don’t know the people I refer to. Other than that it should be all good.
Hopefully this posts OK. Since I no longer have blogger access out at work, (Which is part of the reason I have fallen out of the blog world. I couldn’t access it due to the Gestapo in our IT department.) I am having to post this via email. But you make do with what you have right?
1. What time did you get up this morning? 6:02 p.m., and out the door at 6:20. In that 18 minutes I destroyed the toilet, took a shower, checked FB, grabbed the paper, and fed the dogs. (And after all of that I was still ready in time for a carpool to come pick me up.)
2. Diamonds or pearls I have no idea what you even mean by this…everything else has a question mark and this one doesn’t. So until you correct this error, I cannot answer this question. If it is indeed a question.
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? At the cinema? Are you freaking kidding me?? What is this, 1910? If you mean moving motion picture with sound did I last see, then I guess I would have to say Inglorious Basterds. At the cinema.
4. What is your favorite TV show? So many to choose from. I guess a tossup between design on a dime and so you think you can dance. Oh wait…you want my favorite? I guess at the moment I would have to say Pawn Stars.
5. What do you usually have for breakfast? 2 lemons. Hey, it keeps me regular.
6. What is your middle name? Reed
7. What food do you dislike? Foods like olives and avocados. And deviled eggs. That kind of crap will give you cancer.
8. What is your favorite CD at moment? CD’s are so 1997. Seeing as how I live in the year 2009, I illegally download my music from a site called “legal sounds.” Sounds legal doesn’t it? My favorite album on my MP3 player is the Third Eye Blind’s self titled album. It is from the year 1997.
9. What kind of car do you drive? 2005 Volvo S40 T5 Swedish engineering at its finest.
10. Favorite sandwich? One that hasn’t been sat on by Pat Lindsay. Or anyone else for that matter.
11. What characteristic do you despise? Un cleanliness. Does it really hurt that bad to take a shower every day? Does it?
12. Favorite item of clothing? Shorts.
13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Someplace warm. Preferably English speaking .
14 . Favorite brand of clothing? The brand of clothing does not make me. I make the brand of clothing. (I have no frickin’ idea what that even means, but it sounds pretty deep.)
15. Where would you retire to? Maybe So Cal. If all the hippies have been slaughtered.
16. What was your most recent memorable birthday? 32nd birthday. I was at Disneyland and had hundreds of people wish me happy birthday. So what if they were only saying it because it was part of their job for the day. It still felt good.
17. Favorite sport to watch? Basketball.
18. Furthest place you are sending this? From the looks of the distribution list, I believe that would be the electricians room in PFP. I am fairly certain Tiny and Travis Hinds are one in the same. (Question update: This answer is now void seeing as how I have posted it online now.)
19. Who will respond first? Dumb question…next.
20.. When is your birthday? August 5th. A day that will live in great reverence around the world. And no, I am not being conceited…it is the day that Actress Marilyn Monroe was found dead in her Los Angeles home at age 36. Her death was ruled a probable suicide from an overdose of sleeping pills. I guess instead of standing on top of blowing street vents she should have learned how to read medicine labels. Maybe she wouldn’t have croaked.
21. Are you a morning person or a night person? Night person. Anyone who is that jazzed in the morning is obviously faking it.
22. What is your shoe size? 11EEE in Nike’s, 10EEE in New Balance, and 10.5EEE in Sacony. I haven't bought a pair of Adidas for many years, so I have no idea what size I would wear.
23. Pets? Yes please!
24. Any new and exciting news you ' d like to share with us? Sure. Carrie Hudon is preggers.
25. What did you want to be when you were little? A stock broker who specialized in junk bonds.
26. How are you today? I was doing good…and then I started doing this survey.
27. What is your favorite candy? Starbursts
28. What is your favorite flower? Bird of Paradise.
29. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? The days that start with the letter S. Oh, and every other day that starts with the letter F.
30. What's your full name? Donald Reed Sorenson
31. What are you listening to right now? Kevin forcing himself to burp just so he can say “Mmmm…excuse me.”
32. What was the last thing you ate? A piece of pecan pie from Costco. Not the best piece of pie, but not the worst either.
33. Do you wish on stars? Only when I am on my way to the cinema.
34. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Green. Maybe Red.
35. How is the weather right now? Check it yourself. I am not your daddy. www.weather.com
36. The first person you spoke to on the phone today? Chuck Torelli’s 2nd in command. I don’t know his name, but he sounded like he was an OK guy. I think from now on I will call him #2.
37. Favorite soft drink? Coca Cola with turd ice. Heck, anything with turd ice.
38. Favorite restaurant? It used to by Tony Roma’s and then they destroyed their menu. Now I would have to say Marie Callendars.
39. Real hair color? Brown with a hint of amber coloring. Uh, on second thought let’s just say brown.
40. What was your favorite toy as a child? My Spiderman big wheel. There was no place I couldn’t go in that thing.
41. Summer or winter? Hey survey, what the hell do you have against Spring and Fall? Are they not viable options? Not like it matters. Summer blows them all away.
42. Hugs or kisses Really…whoever originally sent out this long waste of my time survey should really ensure they have all punctuation right before they send it out. I believe you are asking me whether I like hugs or kisses better. Anyone who says hugs is lying. If you are settling for a hug it means you can kiss the chance of ever being kissed goodbye.
43. Chocolate or Vanilla? Rainbow Sherbet.
44. Coffee or tea? How about cake or death? That is a more logical choice.
45. Do you want your friends to email you back? No matter what I say here, they will email me back. But what they are doing to email back I have no clue.
46. When was the last time you cried? When “The Dirty Dozen” was on AMC last month. By far one of the most touching movies of all time. Just thinking about Jefferson dying before he can make it back to...::sniff:: ::sniff:: Sorry, I can’t finish that comment. The thought of it all causes too much pain.
47. What is under your bed? I don’t know, but it smells like a dead whore.
48. What did you do last night? Went home, took off my pants…and popped some popcorn for Lisa’s young women’s group activity.
49. What are you afraid of? Carnies. And Tonya Harding.
50. Salty or sweet? Both
51. How many keys on your key ring? 27. I have no idea what 25 of them do, but I like to roll out in public looking like a high school janitor. It gets the ladies every time.
52. How many years at your current job? 9 years and about 7 or so months. 6 months of those were spent actually working.
53. Favorite day of the week? See question number 29. I refuse to answer this question more than once per survey.
54. How many towns have you lived in? Kennewick, Richland, and West Richland. Although through many hours of therapy I have blocked the memories of living in Richland out of my head.
55. Do you make friends easily? With people who I want to be friends with I do.
56. How many people will you send this to? I would count the names up top, but just like Kathy Wilson says, “Math is for ugly people.”
57. How many will respond? Sorry, 56 survey answers are my daily limit. Come back tomorrow for the answer to this gem.
So now, for those who still might be check this old blog of mine for new posts, I am tagging you. I tag you to fill out this survey and post it. If you don’t then you will have 7 years of bad lick.
15 comments:
My goodness this was exactly the kind of entertainment I needed on this long Friday afternoon. I love turd ice, and I will consider reposting to avoid a bad lick...but this may not amount to more than good intentions.
I am so glad you didn't preface this survey with what you had on there in the original you sent to us at work. Thank you. :)
It totally sounds like you popped the popcorn naked.
It had been so long since I'd seen one of your posts that I forgot you even had a blog!
And Lisa's right-it did sound like you popped popcorn naked...
Bad Licks really Suck.
Very entertaining thank you. I had one survey once that blew the ones like this away. The questions were deep, interesting, and there were only about 17 of them. Perhaps I'll stumble across it one day. Until then I'll ponder how I could ever, possibly go from awake to functional in 18 minutes!
Ha ha. What a way to come back. Funny post! I may not have understood all your answers, but there were several that cracked me up!!
We're all wondering, what is turd ice?
you have WAY too much time on your hands at work! my favorite is the whole key chain/janitor thing. you're right. . . . total turn on!
That was awesome! Thanks for the laughs.
Per question and answer 12. I was actually telling the girls the other night about how the entire summer that you were seven you absolutely refused to wear shorts. I begged, I pleaded, I threatened, I think I even tried hiding those stupid pants, but you WOULD. NOT. WEAR. SHORTS.
My working theory as to why you wear shorts 93% of the time now (even in the dead of winter) is because, that summer of being seven, I think that it used up all of your pants wearing desire and/or tolerance.
Who would ever have thought, that one summer, wearing nothing but pants 25 years ago, would have turned you off of pants wearing for the rest of your life.
Oh well.
At least the story brought the girls some enjoyment.
you have a loyal readership. come back after months away, and already have comments in double digits!
merry christmas
LOL! Now Lisa, Donald may have wanted us to think he made popcorn in the buff but we knew he had his shorts on. (Probably the plaid ones.
Donald you have come back to blogland in Donald form. Have a wonderful day and keep us posted.
P.S. I need a job like yours. Get paid and play on the computer at the same time!
one comeback post and then you're gone again?
Yeah, what's that about Donald?
I thought you were going to write about that ignorant, import who is making sure she can suck our dear government's "here you go, are you sure that's enough" system dry.
Well?????
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