Friday, July 3, 2009

What To Do When Your Dog Is Gender Confused

OK, both of my dogs are female, but for some reason when one of their heat cycles come around, they both act very funny. Now when I say funny I don't just mean that they roll around on the grass. I guess the best way to explain it is to relay the following conversation Lisa told me last night that our girls had with her earlier that day. It went something like this:


Alexandra and Lorelai: "MOM!!! Do you want to see what the dogs were doing with each other IN THE HOUSE!?!"

Lisa: (Who is probably half expecting what they are going to do, since we have seen the dogs do it off and on for the last 2 years.) "Uh...OK...what did they do?"

Alexandra and Lorelai: "They did this!"

Aleandra then proceeds to get down on all fours, while Lorelai gets on top of her and starts bouncing up and down.

I am not making this up, I promise.

Lisa, who I can only imagine is trying to keep a straight face, tells the girls to stop what they are doing and then asked, "Where did you see the dogs do that?"

"Right over where they sit!" Alexandra and Lorelai say while pointing to the dog's official in the house spot.

"EWWWW!!" is about all Lisa can muster at this point.

Meanwhile the dogs are both sitting there watching this unfold with the most innocent looks on their faces, like they have no idea what Lisa and the girls are talking about.

While Lisa is telling me all of this, all I can think about is a cover of the old newstand magazine The Weekly World News. The headline read: "HOMOSEXUAL DOGS CAN BE CURED!"

I guess it is high time I start looking into what cure they may be talking about.

Oh, and for those of you out there who don't believe me when I say I have two lesbian labs, Lisa snapped a photo of it in 2007:


Very disturbing indeed.

16 comments:

Lisa said...

Donald! I cannot believe that you posted about this! (he he)

And just so people know....I took the picture to email to Donald one day while he was gone at work....because I couldn't believe they were doing that! And somehow...the picture never got erased. And now the dogs 'little secret' has been exposed.

David said...

GROSS!

Alicia said...

My parents male poodle is homo too. Just ask Mike!

Mike 'n' Cindy Brinkerhoff said...

Alicia's parents' male poodle is WRONG. WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG!!

Not only gender, but species confused. At least your dogs keep it in the k9.

KaTrina said...

Mike, my dog is also species confused...Just ask my poor cat.

Janice said...

That is hilarious.

Katie said...

As a dog owner...my male lab has done this to other males and females. Our old Lab, Jill, would do it in return. Recently, I have seen female(spayed) small dogs do this to Marley's face...yuck.
I have a very close vet friend, she made Lilah's quilt, who has said it is a domineering thing. Like "I am bigger and better than you."
However...all of my animals are fixed! Maybe if you got them fixed they would not give "the show" as often.
My older girls think it is hilarious too.
Eli, thank God, hasn't quite caught on yet. And Lilah is still oblivious!

Gotta LOVE Lisa's comment!!!!!

The Donald said...

The funny thing about that is Katie is that Emily (The yellow one being mounted) IS the dominant dog! That is what I can't figure out. Normally she is the one that when they are playing around has her jaws wrapped around Scarlett's neck while Scarlett lays in the mercy pose.

Jill S. said...

Donald,

Thanks for the laugh. Glad I had just used the restroom; I would've peed by pants!

SuzanSayz said...

Well Donald, what can I say?
That's just the price of having two smelly disgusting dogs.
Just so you know, the smelly and disgusting is a generalization of all dogs.
I vote that you get rid of the dogs and stop living out your Sophie Dreams, and just have the birds.

Sweet, colorful, for the most part non-stinky (only their cages can stink)happy, songful, and non gender confused, parakeets.

What's not to love?

I know that the girls would get over it.
It may take some time but by the time they graduate, the dogs will be but a whispy memory.

Heidi D said...

I think you need to contact GLAAD and find out when the next pride parade for the Tri-Cities is.

As for the answer you seek in "What To Do When Your Dog Is Gender Confused" I have one word.

YouTube.

Katie said...

Donald,
I forgot to tell you another funny story...this time about cats.

Years ago Aaron and I had my childhood male cat in our first apartment. He had been "fixed" since he was 6 months old. (at the time he was 8 yrs old)After several months he got very fat so we decided to get him a playmate. We adopted Abbie as a VERY small kitten.
Several months later at 3 am we heard Abbie moaning. We turned on the light to see the male cat holding Abbie's neck and trying to sleep all at the same time. He was still so fat that he wasn't even "touching" her...but the best part was Aaron's reaction.....
"Get off of my baby!!!"

THAT was hysterical!

The poor thing was trying to get some sleep and could only hear her moans, so he decided to help hush her up and got reprimanded for it.

I guess it was preparation for daughters....Aaron will hopefully be even more fierce when it comes to them!

OK...it was funny at the time! Animals just bring a little more humor to life sometimes!

Anonymous said...

get them spayed it will solve a multitude if issues.

libbie said...

Yep .. . looks like you have yourself a couple of lesbian dogs on your hands!

Kristen said...

LOL! You are hilarious! Even more funny is Lisa's reaction to this post!

Growing up, my family had two dogs, both toy poodles. The female would hump the male. I guess we knew who wore the pants in that relationship. :-)

Alisa said...

Yikes! I'd like to see Lisa keep a straight face during that demonstration!