Misheard Lyrics Part Two

OK, it has been a couple days, so I figured it was time to post part two of my misheard lyrics series. Come back with me in time. It was the year 1970. Yes, I know, I wouldn't be a glimmer in my parents' eyes for another 7 years, but that is besides the point. There was a band. The band was from California. And they were called Credence Clearwater Revival. Their debut album came out in 1968, and for the next several years, they had hit after hit after hit. At least that is what their wikipedia page says.

My mom introduced me to this band, and I have loved them ever since. In fact I owe most of my classic rock knowledge to my mom, who being a teenager of the 70's had access to this type of music. Some of it was most likely channelled to her from her uncles Loren and Leon Mathews, since whenever she came down here to the Tri-Cities she would hang out with them, and when there weren't showing her their body building magazines, they would listen to music. Maybe they did both at the same time, but like I said, I wasn't there. (editor's note: Upon talking to my Mom, she informed me that my uncle Richard Brinkerhoff was who keyed her in on a lot of music when she would come down to the TC. She told me that most of the stuff Loren and Leon liked was what she considered hard classic rock. But when asked if music was playing in the background during the muscle mag perusing, she said it was entirely possible.)

In 197o CCR released the album Pendulum and the song, "Have You Ever Seen The Rain" reached #8 on the Billboard 100 chart in 1971. This song has since been in several TV shows and movies, and a myriad of people have covered it. But no one can do it like the CCR boys. So like the post on Pearl Jam lyrics, here are the REAL lyrics to this classic swamp rock song:

Someone told me long ago
There's a calm before the storm,
I know!It's been comin' for sometime.
When it's over so they say
It'll rain on a sunny day,
I know!
Shining down like water!

I wanna know: have you ever seen the rain?
I wanna know: have you ever seen the rain?
Comin' down on a sunny day.

Yesterday and days before
Sun is cold and rain is hot,
I know!
Been that way for all my time.
Till forever on it goes
Thru the circle fast and slow,
I know
It can't stop I wonder!

I wanna know, have you ever seen the rain?
I wanna know, have you ever seen the rain?
Comin' down on a sunny day?

YEAHHHHH!

I wanna know, have you ever seen the rain?
I wanna know, have you ever seen the rain?
Comin' down on a sunny day?

Up until 3 weeks ago I had never seen misheard lyrics put together for this song. And then I received an email with a great video of this songs misheard lyrics. I think this is even funnier than the Yellow Ledbetter video. So without further ado, here is the misheard lyrics version of "Have You Ever Seen The Rain"



If that doesn't put a smile on your face and a laugh in your belly..well...then there is no hope for you. Have a windy weekend! (At least us here in the T.C. will)

Misheard Lyrics Part One

There is a song that came out in the early 90's, and since then has been one of my top 5 favorite songs. The song that I am referring to is Yellow Ledbetter by Pearl Jam. And it is one of those songs that no matter who you asked, they would have a completely different version in their head on what the lyrics are than you did. If you do not know the song, you either were A) Not born yet, or B) hiding underneath a rock since 1992. You can listen to it on my music side bar to the right of this post. Speaking of my music sidebar, did anyone notice I added several new songs? I now am playing a little Mott the Hoople. Nice huh?

Thanks to the ultimate powers of the Internet, you can not only buy the song, which originally came out on the Jeremy single as a b side, (would it really still be a b side if it was not on a record?) but you can download the correct lyrics from numerous websites. Of course some of the "lyrics" that people post are still completely wrong, but I found what I believe is the most accurate listing. So without further ado, here are the lyrics to Yellow Ledbetter:

Unsealed on a porch a letter sat.
Then you said I wanna leave it again.
Once I saw him on a beach of weathered sand. And on the sand; I wanna leave it again.
On a weekend I wanna wish it all away.
And they called and I said that "I want what I said" and then I call out again.
And the reason oughta' leave her calm, I know.
I said I don't know whether I'm the boxer or the bag.
Ah yeah, can you see them? Out on the porch? Yeah, but they don't wave.
I see them round the front way. Yeah.

And I know, and I know. I don't want to stay.

Make me cry...

I see... Ooh I don't know why there's something else.
I wanna drum it all away...
Oh, I said, "I don't, I don't know whether I was the boxer or the bag."

Ah yeah, can you see them? Out on the porch? Yeah, but they don't wave.
I see them round the front way. Yeah.
And I know, and I know. I don't wanna stay at all.
I don't wanna stay. Yeah.
I don't wanna stay.
I don't wanna stay.

Oh...


There, now that you know the lyrics, watch this funny video that I found on youtube that someone put together. It mashes together a lot of the phony lyrics that people have sworn up and down what the song really says.




Now every time you hear this song on the radio, you will want to sing, "Potato Wave" and "Make me fries" At least I know I will.

The Water Heater Blues

When Lisa and I bought the house that we are living in now, we were not able to sell our other house, so we turned it into a rental. And for almost 3 years, it has worked out fairly well. We have had good luck as far as renters go. And tax time has been very kind, with that extra deduction and all. Furthermore, since the house was not that old, we have not had to worry about fixing things. That is, until now.

A few months back I got a call from our renter. He called to tell me that the bathtub in the master bathroom had cracked. So figuring that it would be an easy fix, I went and got a fiberglass tub patching kit. The only problem was that it did not fix the problem. In the end I ended up having a friend from our ward, who just happens to be a contractor, fix the tub. It cost a little over 100 bucks, and the only reason it ended up being that cheap was because we were able to just cut a hole in the garage wall, and prop up the part of the tub that was sagging. I was feeling pretty good about getting away so cheap.

Then it happened. I got a call when I was right in the middle of getting the girls out of the bathtub, and getting them ready for bed so Mr. Easter bunny could come to our house and spread a little chocolate cheer. I hear the phone ring, and Lisa brings it upstairs. It is for me. Guess who is on the other line? It is my renters again, and this time something else has gone amiss.

My renter informs me that the water heater, which had only been heating the water half way, had started to leak all over the place. Not the kind of news I really want to get, but what can you do? I tell him not to worry, that I will get on it right away.

So I took the day off from work today to go look at water heaters. It was a 50 gallon tank, and at first I was happy to see that I could get one of those bad boys for under 300 bucks. But I did not take into account how much people charge to install them.

I think that I am in the wrong profession. The cost of installing the thing, plus paying for the permit to install the thing (what a crock THAT is, to have to buy a permit. Just another away for the city to dig into my wallet I suppose.) ended up costing more than the tank itself.

For those that are adding this up in your head, I will let you guess how much this ended up costing me. It ended up being less than 650 dollars, but more than 649. This wouldn't be hard for me to swallow, if it was going toward the house I live in, instead of a place I just own. Oh well, all I can hope for is that they are able to buy it sooner rather than later. And at least everything else seems to be working fine. Uh, I better knock on wood so that it stays that way.

I just need to look on the bright side. My week can only go up from here!

Wow, I must be a real blogger now, I've been tagged!

So some Crazy Lady on Road 80 who I guess goes by the name of Jan (If that is indeed your REAL name) did the ABC's of tagging, and lucky me, I have been tagged. And since I decided to come to work and save my vacation time, instead of taking today off to watch the NCAA's, (which I got here, and there isn't anything going on) I will busy myself with this. Here goes.

A. Attached or Single? I am attached to my lovely wife Lisa

B. Best Friends? Other than the wife I mentioned above, I would have to say my friend Brad Butherus. And not just because he is building a house in my neighborhood, which is saving me a years worth of homeowners dues (about 560 bills) because I referred him here. We have been hanging out since 10th grade, and have had some great times.

C. Cake or Pie? Wow, I didn't realize that I would only be on letter "C" and would have to put serious thought into this. I would have to say cake. What is your favorite cake you might ask? German Chocolate. I have had a G.C. cake for my birthday every year since I was about 10. Pie is mighty fine too, and I am not against eating a piece...or three.

D. Day of Choice? I love it that I have every other Friday off. Nothing is better than having only a four day work week. Of course, on the week I work five days, I would have to say Saturday. It is funny how when I was younger, and was working 3 different jobs at the same time, and would sometimes work 13, 14 days in a row, and not think anything about it. Now 5 days seems like punishment for something I did on my 4 day week.

E. Essential item? Q-Tips. And not the brand name Q-tips, but the Target brand. It drives me insane when I get out of the shower or the pool, and I have water in my ears. I can't stand it! I used to think that only name brand was the way to go, until one time last year Lisa accidentally bought the Target kind. Needless to say I was pretty bummed out that I we had this 540 count box of inferior ear dryers, and I was going to have to use them for a while. And then I realized how much better they are. You know how Q-Tip likes to brag about how much cotton they have on the end? Well, that much cotton doesn't stay in place, and next thing you know, you are trying to dry your ears with a string of the stuff. But Target puts just the right amount on theirs. Try them and you will see what I am talking about.

F. Flavor of Ice Cream? I am a sherbet man myself. Rainbow. Raspberry. Lime. Lemon. Any sherbet will suffice. Kind of like pizza. Even when pizza is bad, it is still pretty good.

G. Gummy Bears or Worms? Did a 5 year old make this survey? I will take either. They go good with the above mentioned ice cream.

H. Hometown? The busting metropolis of Kennewick. I can get anywhere is 10 minutes or less. Can you?

I.Indulgences? Like mentioned in this post here, I LOVE three things in California. Disneyland, Golden Spoon Frozen Yogurt, and In n Out. We can go down there for a week, and I will go to Golden Spoon enough times to fill up a punch card, and get a free serving. And the first meal I always eat after we land at John Wayne Airport is In n Out. I will get a double double (sometimes I single if I want to pace myself through the week.) with extra extra spread, fries well, and a coke to drink. Ah...that is living a good life.

J. January or July? Well, lets see, other than Lisa's birthday, all January brings is cold weather, dead grass, wet dogs, and dirt in my garage. So I am going with July. I love the hot weather, green grass, wet dogs, (yes I know I put that for January, but in July they can lay out in the yard, and dry up) and a clean garage.

K. Kids? Yes, I have three little girls, who unfortunately will grow up into 3 big girls. Hopefully, they won't hate their old man too much. One little side note about girls. A friend once told me that when you have a boy, you only have that boy to worry about. You make sure he is not too much of a moron. But when you have girls, you have to worry about ALL the boys. At least I have a few more years to dig the deep graves in a couple forested areas. Those not thought out shallow graves never seen to work out too well, so I am planning ahead. :o)

L. Last movie I saw in Theatre? It was Ratatouille. Good pixar flick, but not their best effort. At least it was better than Cars.

M. Marriage Date? August 19, 2000. I have it so easy. My birthday is the 5th, and I just have to remember that two weeks after my birthday I was hitched. And since it was in 2000, it is easy to remember how many years. But I am a good rememberer of numbers anyways, so I don't really need that crutch. Oh yes, we had a Cinderella wedding at the Moore Mansion, and months later it burned down. Lisa needs to write a blog about that. We were sealed on August 24 the next year in Seattle.

N. Number of siblings? 4, two boys, two girls with me being the oldest and wisest. There is Heidi-29, Kelly-26, Shawn-21, and Courtney-20.

O. Orange or Apples? Not trying to steal from Jan's answers, but Apples to Apples rocks! We play whenever our family gets together. But to eat I would have to say apples. Less work to eat them.

P. Phobias or Fears? Carnies. Oh wait, that is what Austin Powers is afraid of. I would have to say having one of my kids die. That would really suck eggs.

Q. Quote? Since I just did a quote post, I looked at some great quotes. The one that I really enjoyed was from the comedian Demetri Martin, who I had never heard of before I looked for quotes a couple days ago. Here it is. "A dreamcatcher works, if your dream is to be gay. " I can't stand those dreamcatchers, and when I saw this, it made me laugh.

R. Reason to smile? Because I have a great wife, great kids, great job, great place to live. Life is good. I can't complain about much. Well...there are the freaks who think man made global warming is real, and not having a true Conservative candidate to vote for, but I will not let that hold me back.

S. Season? I love the late spring/summer time frame. I love to do yard work, and to wash/wax my car. So much in fact I detail cars for people for a little extra pocket change. And there is nothing better than going out with the family to the water park by the Kennewick Library, and just hang out in the warmth of the sun. I am so jonesing for summer to come!

T. Tag 4. Are you kidding me? I don't know if I can come up with 4 bloggers who either would A. Want to do this, or B. Haven't done it already. Well, here goes. I will tag Randall Curtis, Mike Brinkerhoff, (who had a name that tune contest that I won this week) my Wife, and my cousin Mitch Mathews. After all, Mitch hasn't done any blogging for over a week. He is due.

U. Unknown fact about me? Lisa covered a lot of them on her post about me, but she didn't cover all of them. I have a sister that my Mom had when she was a junior in High School, that she gave up for adoption. I have never met her, have no idea where she is, and if she even knows that she was adopted. After all, it was 1975, and back then I don't think they were as open about it as they are now.

V. Vegetarian or oppressor of Animals? Oh I oppress animals like no ones business. I don't discriminate either. Cow, pig, goat, (my friend's family would have a party, and would get a goat. One day Mr. Goat was there, the next day he was gone, and they had a boat load of meat to BBQ.) chicken, turkey, fish, shrimp, lobster. You name it, I will eat it. I do like veggies though....on the side of my meat of course.

W. Worst Habit? This is a tough one. It is a toss up between being punctual, and speaking over people. I can never seem to find the right place to butt into a conversation, I always think that it is my turn, and start running my mouth right over the top of someone. My kindergarten teacher put it best when she said, "Another kid can have a fish story, and Donald will have 10 fish stories that he has to tell." It now makes sense to you that I turned this simple survey into a novel doesn't it?

X. X-rays or Ultrasounds? I am well acquainted with x-ray machines from my youth, but those 4-d ultrasounds that you are able to tell if your baby has brown or yellow hair are amazing.

Y. Your favorite food? See the answer to the letter "I" that pretty much covers it.

Z. Zodiac? I am a Leo. I have no clue what it means, but that is what I am.

There you have it ladies and gentlemen, the ABC's of me. I hope that it was a good for you as it was for me. If you are still reading at this point, thanks for sticking it out.

I'M OUT!

Random Quotes

A word to the wise ain't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that need the advice. ~Bill Cosby

How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars. ~Steve Martin

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity. ~Albert Einstein

Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist. ~Dr. Tobias Funke (from the TV show Arrested Development)

I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades...or a game of fake heart attack. ~Demetri Martin

I know...a randon bunch of quotes...but this is my blog afterall, so I get to do what I want. Thanks for reading!

It's time to play the music, It's time to light the lights!

Any guesses on what classic TV show that opening line is from? It is from The Muppet Show of course. When I was younger my sister and I loved to watch The Muppet Show. And now my daughters are enjoying it too. It all started last Sunday when we were over at my parents house for Dinner. Pretty much every Sunday for almost 8 years now Lisa and I have went over there for Sunday Dinner. It is a pretty good gig, because my Mom makes really good food, and it is free. Also, this way we have no mess to clean up at our house. It is a win-win.

So anyway, I have a younger brother named Shawn, and he has a very extensive DVD collection. For those of you who don't know my bro, he is Autistic, as well as slightly retarded. So for him, watching movies is a good thing, because it makes his world go round. His favorites are pretty much any action movie ever made, and anything that has Bill Cosby in it. He also loves Disney movies, and Jim Hensons' muppets.

I always make my way up to his bedroom first to give him a big bear hug and to say hello. This particular night, he was watching The Muppet Show season 2 on DVD. After a little arm twisting, I talked him into letting me borrow a couple of the discs from that season. I wanted Alexandra and Lorelai to watch one of the shows that I loved when I was around their age. (I still do love them, even if Lisa is not a Muppet person. I don't understand it, but there are millions of other things I love about her, so I let this slide) So on the way home that night, I slipped one of the DVD's into the van DVD player. At first they didn't know what to think, but now they are down. I brought the other disk into the house so they could watch it up in their playroom. I think that I have created new Muppet fans.

Here are some of my favorite things about The Muppet Show:

Cooking with The Swedish Chef.

Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker his assistantDr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem

And with it being St. Patricks day and all, here is a clip of the Swedish Chef, Beaker, and Animal singing "Danny Boy"



I think when I get home today, I will make my way upstairs, and watch an episode with Lex and Lor. Sounds like a fun Monday night.

Let the Fun Begin!

I don't believe it, it is here. March Madness. The National Collegiate Athletic Association Basketball Tournament has its brackets drawn up, and this coming Thursday will mark the start of the most frenzied 2 weeks in all of sports. Now all I have to do is enter every single bracket challenge that I can find, and hope that my North Carolina Tar Heels, WSU Cougars, and Gonzaga Bulldogs make long runs. (Well, UNC and WSU could meet in the Sweet 16, so one of them won't go past that)

I am so glad that it is my Friday off of work this week! In fact, taking Thursday off to watch games doesn't sound like such a bad idea....

Tar Heels pull it out, while the Dukies choke! HAHA

I just have to give a quick shout out to my favorite college basketball team, the North Carolina Tar Heels. They were forced into playing a half court game today, and were still able to find a way to win. It is just a shame that I will be in the nursery in church while they are battling Duke in the Championship game...Oh wait, what was that?? Duke LOST?!?!? To CLEMSON!!! HAHAHA!!! A Clemson team that was 0-22 in the last 22 games before today. Way to go Duke. At least now you don't have to lose again to UNC.




So take care of business tomorrow Heels, and you will wrap up the #1 overall seed in the Tournament. The madness is coming very soon ladies and gents....very soon! Man, I love the month of March!

Weird news stories of the week; and Happy Birthday to our house!!!

One of the things I like to do when I am not doing anything at all is look at the odd news section on Yahoo! These stories seem like they should be in the Weekly World News, but somehow, they are actually true.

Kind of like this story I happened onto today. This one actually came from the Drudge Report, one of my favorite sources for news. In case you don't want to read the whole story, it goes something like this: Woman asks boyfriend if she can use the bathroom, woman decides that it is a nice bathroom, woman thinks that it would be scary to leave said bathroom, woman decides to move into the bathroom, and after TWO YEARS her butt skin grows onto the toilet seat. Her boyfriend, who will most likely get prosecuted for this, would bring her food and clothing, and said that other than the fact their relationship went on in his bathroom, it was a normal relationship. Funny, because it sounds just a little odd to me.

The next gem that I happened across today was this. Some 15 year old mensa was asleep at his desk, and the teacher woke him up. Of course, everyone knows that when a teacher wakes you up, there is only one thing to do: sue her pants off! I didn't realize that all the times Ms. Nash in 10th grade composition class woke me up, I could have received monetary damages. So all you slackers out there, remember the easiest way to riches is to snooze in school.

Here is a story that is a great read for anyone who would love to show up your local policeman, and not get in trouble for it. It seems that Jessie Vigil wanted to do something special for his son who loved the Transformer movie from last year. So he did was any loving father would do. He went out and bought a 2007 Ford Mustang, so he could decorate it to look like a cop car from the movie. The Iraqi vet states, "My intent was to re-create the movie car. When I came back from Iraq, I tried to spoil him. I wasn't the best dad before." I would say that Jessie is on his way to better dad territory.

Last but not least is this moving tale of a beekeeper's war with a rogue bear. It seems that this bear wanted a little of the honey goodness that this guy was enslaving bees to make. To drive the bear away, he rigged up a sound system blasting Ceca, a Serbian pop star. The only problem was that when the generator powering the music died, Yogi came back for a piece of the pic a nic basket...errr....honey. So the farmer took a page out of sleeping on your desk boy (as noted above) and sued the bear. Believe it or not, the case went to court, and he won! And since the bear had no true owner and belonged to a protected species, the court ordered the state to pay the 140,000 denars (1,726 pounds) damage it caused to the hives. Imagine what he could have gotten had the 9th circuit court of appeals here in the good ol' USA would have heard the case.



This is Ceca. The bear was afraid of her.

There you have it Real people. Real events. And a bear that lost in court.


One more thing. The Sorenson family has now lived at 5716 W 14th Ave for 3 years now! Read all about it here! Have a good weekend everyone!

Less than a month to go!

Is anyone else counting down the days until "The Office" starts back up on NBC? In case you have been living under a rock the last couple weeks, the writers strike is now over, and new episodes are set to start back up April 10. So to pass the time, I decided to list some of my favorite quotes and/or moments of the first 3 1/2 seasons of The Office. Lets see who can guess who said what...maybe I might send the winner a prize. Or maybe even let you (and your family if they so wish) come over to our casa and play some Wii.

1. Your pencils are creating a health hazard. I could fall and pierce an organ.
2. Because right now, this is a job. If I advance any higher, this would be my career. And if this were my career, I'd have to throw myself in front of a train.
3. It's simply beyond words. It's incalculacable.
4. This is an environment of welcoming, and you should just get the hell outta here.
5. Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.
6. Yes. It is true. I, Michael Scott, am signing up with an online dating service. Thousands of people have done it, and I am going to do it. I need a user name, and... I have a great one. "Little Kid Lover". That way people will know exactly where my priorities are at.
7. The purse girl hits everything on my checklist: creamy skin, straight teeth, curly hair, amazing breasts. Not for me... for my children. The Schrutes produce very thirsty babies.
8. So you got the fax. So why didn't you add it to the resume? What do you mean? Of course martial arts training is relevant! Oh excuse me, I know about a billion Asians that would beg to differ! Uh, yeah, I get a little frustrated when I'm dealing with incompetence. Well, you know what? You can go to hell and I will see you there! Burning. Fine. Oh, wait, so you'll let me know when you've made a decision?
9. The Albany branch is working right through lunch, to prevent downsizing. But, Michael, he decided to extend our lunch by an hour, so that we could all go down to the dojo and watch him fight Dwight.
10. I suggested we flip a coin, but Angela said she doesn't like to gamble. Of course by saying that, she was gambling that I wouldn't smack her.
    

Phyllis: [at the Christmas party] Hi, guys. Does everyone know my boyfriend, Bob Vance? Kevin: [introducing himself to Bob] Kevin Malone. Bob Vance: Bob Vance. Vance Refrigeration. Stanley: Stanley Hudson. Bob Vance: Bob Vance. Vance Refrigeration. Ryan Howard: Ryan Howard. Bob Vance: Bob Vance. Vance Refrigeration. Ryan Howard: [Kevin, Stanley, and Ryan all smile to themselves] What line of work are you in, Bob?

Dwight Schrute: Yes, I have decided to shun Andy Bernard for the next three years... which I'm looking forward to. It's an Amish technique; it's like slapping someone with silence. Dwight Schrute: I was shunned from the age of 4 until my 6th birthday, for not saving the excess oil from a can of tuna.

I can't wait for Thursdays in April! Happy Tuesday everyone.

Democrat or Republican?

I received this via email last week, and it is too good not to share. And since I don't feel like going on a long rant about what will happen to this country of ours if Barrack Obama is elected (maybe I will explore that later in the week....open your eyes a little bit) I will post this instead. I think it hits the nail on the head. Happy Monday!

A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat, and among other liberal ideals, was very much in favor of higher taxes to support more government programs, in other words, redistribution of wealth. She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch Republican, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his.

One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the need for more government programs. The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she was doing in school. Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend, and didn't really have many college friends because she spent all her time studying.

Her father listened then asked, "How is your friend Audrey doing?" She replied, "Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy classes, she never studies, and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so popular on campus; college for her is a blast. She's always invited to all the parties, and lots of times she doesn't even show up for classes because she's too hung over." Her father asked her, "Why don't you go to the Dean's office and ask him to deduct a 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your friend Audrey, who only has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA." The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's suggestion, angrily fired back, "That's a crazy idea. How would that be fair? I've worked really hard for my grades! I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work. Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!" The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently "Welcome to the Republican Party."

Classic Saturday Morning Cartoons

Its a shame that kids nowadays do not have great cartoons to sit down and watch on Saturday mornings. I remember being a kid, and waking up at 6 a.m. so I could catch the Rocky and Bulwinkle show. I would pour myself an oversized bowl of Chex, pour a lot of sugar on it, and sit down for an enjoyable 2-4 hour block of cartoons.

Of course over the years in the 80's cartoons came and went, but there were always Looney Tunes on ABC around 10 a.m. And try as I might, but I can rarely find them on TV on a continual basis. But I just found a website where you can watch Looney Tunes to your hearts content. Go to www.looneytunes.com And they have a lot of cartoons for your viewing pleasure.

Since I can't post them directly on here, here is another classic Saturday morning cartoon for you to enjoy. Have a great weekend everyone!

From the accident files of Donald R. Sorenson, ESQ.

So I was sitting at my computer, trying to think of something interesting to write, when I started to think of my two oldest girls, Alexandra and Lorelai. Now, these two precious little souls are very different people. Alexandra is more of a dress up, elegant kind of girl, while Lorelai is more of a rough and tumble, get dirty kind of girl. In fact, I go as far to say to people that I don't need to have a son, because I have Lorelai. (I try not to say this around her anymore, since for a while there she started to tell people that she was Daddy's boy.)

But there is one thing that they do have in common, and I am afraid that it comes from their old man. They both seem to hurt themselves doing normal things. Now I wouldn't go as far to say that they are klutzes. It is more like they don't think about what they are about to do. For an example, last night I was leaving Lowes, and Lorelai was riding in the cart. Alexandra decided it would be great fun to run in front of the cart, and jump onto the bar in front and go for a ride. The only problem is, I did not realize what she was trying to do, so I just kept on going. She ended up getting her toe ran over by the shopping cart wheel, and since all she had on were her Mickey Mouse Crocs, there wasn't much protection there. So because of that, I had to listen to her cry all the way home about how her toe was not only broken, but how it would need to have shots, stitches, and a cast on top of it.

Well, it made me think of the numerous times I ended up in the Hospital when I was younger for injuries that I inflicted upon myself. Whether it was jumping off the bathroom counter and cutting my chin open, requiring 4 stitches, (I was 5) running through a set of bushes that had broken pieces of mirror the neighbor kids stuffed in them, and slicing my left thigh open and getting 5 stitches, (I was about 12) breaking my wrist playing football at the park, (13) and shooting my hand with my bb gun, having to have it surgically removed, which led to getting my hand stapled up. (Summer before my freshman year) There are other "highlights" of my injury-plagued teens, but the one that takes the cake is what I did to my shins in September of 1994.

I remember it like it was yesterday. I was now an upper classmen in High School, and it felt pretty cool to know I only had 2 more years of school. We had a camping trip/sand dune motorcycle riding activity planned for Priests quorum on the weekend, and although I had never ridden a motorcycle before, I figured that I could catch on fairly quickly, and have a blast. So on Friday after school, we loaded up and headed to the Juniper Dunes for our trip. On the trip I believe there were 6 of us. It was me, Donny Hatch, Scott Bowman, Jeff Smith, Chris Mace, and Adam Durst. Maybe some of the younger guys went too, but those are the ones I remember.

So we set up camp, and it is time to start riding the motorcycles. I had a hard time figuring out how to shift, so I ended up just hard shifting all the time. I rode around for about 20 minutes, and I only crashed one time. Not bad for a first time rider. That night we went to bed, not knowing what lay in store for us the next morning.

We woke up, had breakfast, and got ready to ride to some lake that was nearby. Off we went. Now I do not remember how long we were riding for, if it was 5 minutes, or 10. All I knew was the I was really digging riding a motorcycle. It was such a rush with he wind blowing in your face. I had thoughts of doing it more often when I got home. And then it happened. I was cruising along, when all of a sudden I came to a cliff. By Adam's account, it was about a 30-40 foot cliff, and I flew right off of it. While I was flying though the air, my feet came off the foot pegs, and it must have looked as if I was doing a spread eagle. At the bottom of the cliff, the sand rose up as if it was a jumping ramp. Well, I hit that ramp with my front wheel, which caused my legs to come flying back to the Motorcycle, and my shins, which were only covered with the blue jeans I had on, hit the foot pegs. At the same time, the bike was going over the sand ramp, and my chest slammed against the fuel tank. The bike made a great jump over the ramp, but I was not on the bike, I was sprawled out on the ground.

Now, my first thought was that I was OK, other than the fact it felt like I had broken my ribs. I tried to stand up, and fell down, and that is when I noticed the holes in my pant legs. I rolled up my pant legs, and was staring straight at both of the bones in my legs, and the pool of blood that was forming in them. About this time, a couple other people crashed also, (We found out later that we camped on the wrong side of the lake, and were heading in a direction that was a lot harder to ride in) and everyone was coming back to check out what had transpired.

I was sitting up, looking at my legs, and I started to swear every swear that has been sworn before. Did I mention this was a church trip? Here I was, speaking like a sailor in front of my bishop and other leaders of my ward. But I didn't care. Before I left for this trip, my mother had told me I better not come home hurt, because she didn't want to have to take me to the hospital. Again. So much for that hope.

So there I was, looking at my legs, with everyone huddled around me. It was now that I did something I will never forget. I was looking at my legs, and didn't feel any pain. I made a comment about how I must be in shock, because it didn't hurt. Then I did something that grossed everyone out. I took my index finger, and started to rub my bone in my leg. I believe when I did that, someone threw up, and another person almost passed out. But I thought to myself, "When would I ever get a chance to touch my own bone again? Never!"

Next, they loaded me onto the 4 wheeler that we had there, and they carted me back to camp. What a very uncomfortable ride that was!. We got back to camp, and they drugged me up with 8 or 9 Advil, wrapped bandages around my legs, and we loaded up to go home. We got back to my parents house, and they were all outside, enjoying the Fall day. The guys picked me up to carry me to the house, and my Mom started to say, "Ha Ha Donald, so funny to pretend that you are hurt." Of course that comment sent me thru the roof. I demanded that they put me down, and show my Mom what happened. All she could say was, "Get in the car, lets go to the hospital....again!"

At the hospital, they got me all stitched up. What I remember about that particular trip is the guy next to me who had his cheek bitten off by is aunts little dog. He had the cheek flesh in a little baggy with ice.

So, you might want to ask, "What was the worst part of the trip, Donald?" I will tell you. It was not the wreck, or the ride back to camp, or getting shots in my shins to numb them up to stitch them, or even the stitches themselves. It was having the Dr. take off the bandages that the guys wrapped up my legs with. Lets just say I lost a lot of leg hair that day.

Oh yes, that scars on your shins don't seem to heel up very fast either. Here it is, over 13 years later, and my shins still look like this:

Hopefully, my girls grow out of hurting themselves long before I did. But if they don't, at least I will have good stories to tell them while they sit in the E.R. Until next time....