Monday, December 1, 2008

My most memorable day after Thanksgiving memory

I was going to post this last Friday, but since most of you would either be:

A. Waking up at the crack of dawn to buy the new Elmo doll that your child will not be interested in by March.

B. Waking up to a ginormous mess in your house from the night before when all of your relatives’ enjoyed your cooking, but when it came time to clean up, they all had tummy aches.

-OR-

C. So sore from the turkey bowl football game that you played with your church. You know the one where you took the opening kickoff almost all the way to the house before feeling your butt muscle pull? The one where 10 minutes later you pulled your groin on the other side of your body, but were still able to have 4 catches and 2 touchdowns for the game?

I decided to wait until today to post it. Because whether you were shopping, cleaning, or nursing a sore butt muscle, the last thing on your mind would be to check your favorite blogs.

With all that being said, I now must warn you about today’s post. This is a day after Thanksgiving memory post, and it might be a little gross to some of you. So if you aren’t in the mood to read about what transpired the day after Thanksgiving 1989 to yours truly, go ahead and stop reading right now, and go admire the talking Elmo you cold cocked another person for 3 days ago.

Like I said, the year was 1989. I was 12 years old, and it was 4 days before Thanksgiving. I had been feeling very sick for a few days and had even thrown up once or twice. Since we were going to be leaving to go over to Bellevue to my Grandparents house in 2 days, my mom decided that it would be a good idea to take me to the Doctor. After all, the last thing you want to do as a parent is travel across the mountains with a boy who is hurling out the window as you drive.

After waiting the obligatory 45 minutes in the waiting room, we were called back by the nurse. Of course we all know that is followed up by another 20 minute wait in the exam room, but since this post isn’t about the headache that is going to the Doctor; I will stop harping on the subject. Dr. Beck entered into the room and did the usual checks on me. Eyes…check. Nose…check. Ears…check. Slamming the triangular rock into my knee…check. After a few words with my mom, Dr. Beck turns to me and informs me that I have some little bug, which will be gone by Thanksgiving and I will be able to eat all of the turkey and pie that I could stomach.

I was stoked to hear the news. I loved going over to my Grandma’s house for Thanksgiving. From the flattened out butter on the small light blue colored plate, to the bowl of ice cream that I would eat at night while my family watched the 10 o’clock news, the food just tasted better there.

As usual, we had a ton of people there for our Thanksgiving feast. We would line up another table with their dining room table so there could be room for the 20+ guests who were in attendance. My uncles Mike and/or Brian would have a whoopee cushion at the ready for when Grandma would get up to grab something out of the kitchen. You see us Brinkerhoff’s/Sorenson’s don’t believe in a quiet civilized Thanksgiving meal. I mean, where would the fun be in that??

That night I ate and ate, and when I didn’t think I could fit anything else in, I ate some more. I had been over my bug for about 48 hours, and felt fine. However, that “little bug” I had had one more kick left in it.

When I went to bed I felt totally fine. No upset stomach. No feeling like a fever was coming on. After a good night sleep in the room that was referred to as “The Black Hole”, I went downstairs to get some breakfast. When I walked into the kitchen, my grandma was sitting at the table eating her oatmeal. Across the room the TV was on KSTW 11. And it was right then and there that it hit me like a ton of bricks. I had to barf, and it was coming out no matter what I tried to do.

My mind was racing very fast with the thoughts on the best way to lose all that I had gorged myself on the night before. Running to the bathroom was out of the question, I would never have made it. I didn’t want to go towards the family room, because then the spew would have been all over the carpet. So I decided that the best thing to do would be to put my hand over my mouth and try to block whatever remnants of pumpkin pie and mashed potatoes were going to come up.

Looking back on the whole situation, putting my hand over my mouth wasn’t a very good idea. Why you ask? Before I answer that, you need to be familiar with the scene in the movie “Stand by Me” when Davie Hogan, a.k.a. Lardass Hogan starts to hurl after drinking a bottle of castor oil and swallowing a raw egg before he participates in the County Fair pie eating contest. Because that is how my upchuck chucked. It was a powerful stream of puke, and I had tried to block it with my hand.

So what happens when something that would later be referred to as “The Thanksgiving Power Barf of 1989” goes down? Well, for starters, remember that I was standing next to my poor Grandmother. The mess pouring from my pie hole squirted out of the sides of my mouth and into her shoes, all over the table where her bowl of oatmeal sat, and all over her. It goes without saying that she wasn’t too thrilled to be covered with the meal that she so tirelessly slaved over the night before. Especially since said meal smelled waaay different than it did 12 hours prior.

Right at the moment the power barf hit, my uncle Mike was coming out of the laundry room that was hooked onto the Dining Room. He saw the whole thing. Of course since he was not involved with what had just transpired, it was the funniest thing in the whole world to him.

After much yelling and screaming from my Grandma, the mess was cleaned up. (I can’t imagine why she was sooo upset. Kids throw up all the time.) But the memory of my power barf would live on forever. I look back on it fondly, as does Mike. My Grandma though? Probably not so much.

Oh yes, and one thing I did forget to mention. While I still believe that I wouldn’t have made it to the Bathroom that I had in mind, I would have made it to the one that was right off of the Laundry room.

So there you have it, my most memorable day after Thanksgiving moment.

Are there any after Thanksgiving moments you hold dear?

14 comments:

Jan said...

Oh that was so sad Donald. I can almost smell it. Eww... Sorry about that memory.

Mike Brinkerhoff said...

I am SO glad you clarified that you COULD have made it to the bathroom, because when I read the first part where you said you wouldn't make it, I still have a VERY strong mental image of you standing probably less than six feet from the toilet at the moment of spewage...

But you know, you were sick, so obviously your brain wasn't working right!

Janice said...

I am laughing out loud. About 8 years ago, we missed church because I had some stomach virus. Well, some ward members came over to see how we were doing. I was still in the bedroom trying to recover, when I jumped out of bed, ran to bathroom not closing the door to throw-up. These poor nice people stood in our front room listening to me gag for about 5 minutes. I then distinctly heard them say to dentist husband, "Well, I guess we should be going." Yep, you should.

Brooke said...

What a pleasant memory! Our daughter was sick on Saturday night and as a result, I don't think I'll be having Doritos again for a while (her first time having them- great!). It would be fun to get together over Christmas and meet Lisa and your girls- they seem wonderful! My parents live near Lincoln Elem., which is where we stay when we're in town. Glad you're feeling better after the big game!

Kelly said...

Funnily enough, the barf scene from Stand By Me was just on AMC a few minutes ago.

Brooke said...

That's crazy- They're on 18th I think. If you stand on their front porch, you can almost see Lincoln down the street. They love it there. Creekstone seems like a nice neighborhood/area. It's fairly new right?

meohmyers said...

This had me laughing out loud! You paint a great picture. Too funny! Your poor Grandma to be the recipient of the Thanksgiving Power Barf. I can just picture this old woman minding her own business, getting splashed out of nowhere and not knowing what to do. I'm still laughing...

My Three Sons said...

Nasty! Although she was momentarily disgusted (obviously) it is probably something she'll never forget, right! And which probably still brings a good laugh! Chase got really sick the day after Thanksgiving, vomiting and diarrhea (ugh) and is still under the weather. I'm just waiting for it to hit the rest of us. Hope you had a better Thanksgiving this year!

My Three Sons said...

p.s. It wasn't Jonny that worked for Obama's campaign, it was Preston! And, no, Preston hasn't grown horns either :) ha ha...

SuzanSayz said...

Oh good, some more Sorenson family history has thus been documented.
Like you or Mike would ever let anybody forget it!

Heidi 'n' Jeff said...

I was trying to think to myself what would make that year stand out, and then I read that Grandma was sitting at the table eating oatmeal. I started laughing after that. I think I was still asleep. I do remember that it was so bad it got INTO HER SOCKS!!! HAAA HA AHAHH AHHA HAHHHAH!

bless her heart.

Jessica said...

Nice. Very nice. I don't have an after-Thanksgiving story. However, I DO have a Thanksgiving story....You'll have to check out my blog...

dani said...

thedonald... that was just plain hilarious (though, i'm quite certain it wasn't for anyone but your uncle mike... at the time;)!!!
lol, the funny thing about reading your story was, i already had the image of lardass' "barfarama" in my mind before i ever read his name!!!
hahaha...
dani

Lisa said...

I am going to come back and read this later...I really am.

Love you.