From the minds of Hanford

There has been a lot of innovation out on the Hanford site the last 60+ Years. We produced the plutonium for the bomb that was dropped on Nagasaki in 1945. The FFTF reactor that was built (and now being torn down. Stupid small minded government hacks!) was one of the most advanced breeder reactors of its kind. There are various instruments that have been invented by people who have worked out here over the years that are still in use today, both at Hanford and around the world. And the Tri-City area has the highest per capita of PhD’s in the nation.

But there is one invention so ground breaking, that it took over 60 years for someone to harness its full potential. It made its debut in 2002, and even though at the moment is not being utilized; I know that one day its operation will be in full swing again. I am talking about Hanford Uno.

As has been chronicled in the past, Hanford workers have the luxury of a longer than normal lunch break. Different groups of workers play such card games as Hearts, Pinochle, Spades, and Cribbage. But we in the labs just had to be different. So one day someone brought out a double deck of Uno cards. And we played Uno. And we liked it. But after about a week, it started to lose its appeal. And that is why we came up with Hanford Uno.

Now I know that most of you out there are aware of special Uno “house rules” that people play by. Maybe you play add on with the plus twos and plus four cards. Or maybe you deal out more or less cards. You maybe even keep a score going. Well, we combined several different variations, and hence Hanford Uno was born.

So my loyal readers, today I give you a gift. It comes straight from the Lazy H Ranch, and you do not need a government clearance to see this info. There is no need for it to be reviewed by some security specialist. I present to you the official rules of Hanford Uno. I have written them out for you so you may print them off and use for how you see fit. And I am telling you right now, once you start playing Uno a la Hanford style, you will never want to go back to the old way again. Without further ado, here are the official rules.
THE OFFICIAL RULES OF HANFORD UNO (Rev 2.0)
History of Hanford Uno

Hanford Uno started circa 2002 in the upstairs lunchroom of 234-5Z. The original players were: Rich Dunn, Jeremy James, Chandy Lindberg, Don R. Sorenson, ESQ., and Kathy Wilson. Although a couple of the original players were far superior in talent, all of the above people will hereby be referred to as “The Legends.”

Player Groupings

Up to 6 players may engage in one game. If there are more than 6 players, you must divide up into 2 teams.

Rules of Play

2 Uno decks are needed to play. After shuffling both decks together, seven cards are dealt out to all players at the table. The person with the highest score from the previous hand goes first. (If it is the first hand of the day, the person with the days’ previous high score goes first.) In the event that they do not have a card to go first with, they may elect to have another person at the table go first. Play always starts in a clockwise fashion at the beginning of the game. Now this is where the similarities with non-Hanford Uno end. If a card is played, and you have the EXACT same card, you may call out speed, and play that card, even if it is not your turn. (At one time The Legends tried to play any card that matched, regardless of color, but it did not work out well.) This does not mean however that play has to be stopped to allow a person to speed. If it is your turn, and someone is trying to speed, you may attempt to play your card before they have a chance to speed, therefore negating their speed chance.

Drawing Cards
If you are not able to play a card, you must draw from the pile until you are able to find a card to play. Even if you have to draw 20+ cards.

When someone plays a DRAW TWO card against you, you have 2 options. You may either place another DRAW TWO card on top of the original DRAW TWO card, which then makes the next person have to draw 4 cards. Or you may play a REVERSE or SKIP CARD of the color of the DRAW TWO card. This is also known as playing a DEFENSE card. For example: Player One plays a green DRAW TWO card on Player Two. Player Two then plays a green SKIP card, sending the DRAW TWO onto Player Four. Player Four now may either play a green DEFENSE card, (skip or reverse) or they may play any color of Skip card. You MAY NOT at any time add on another DRAW TWO card after a defense card has been played. When it comes to DRAW FOUR WILD cards, the same reasoning applies, but in order to play a DEFENSE card, it must be of the same color the player who played the DRAW FOUR WILD card calls.

One other way for someone to have to draw cards is if they have only 1 card left and fail to call out “UNO” before someone else does. Keep in mind that the card being played MUST be on top of the pile before you can try to call UNO. (For Jeremy’s sake, throwing the card like a little girl at the pile counts as placing it on the Pile) If you beat the person to saying “UNO” they must draw 2 cards. Please note: Anytime that someone is drawing cards, you may not take your turn until they are done drawing. But as soon as they are done drawing, you may proceed. You do not have to wait for any speed plays before taking your turn, either.

Going out

The person who plays his last card is the winner of the hand. As a reward, they get 25 points deducted from their score. All the other players count up their points as follows:
Numbered Cards = Number on card is point value
DRAW TWO or DEFENSE cards = 20 points
WILD or DRAW FOUR WILD cards = 50 points.

The person at the end of the day with the lowest score wins!

Don’t say that The Donald never did anything for you. You know have the most advanced version of Uno known to mankind. I hope that you enjoy it.